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OGR 26/01/18
ReplyDeleteHi Nelly,
Okay - so this represents a big imaginative leap... (but that pesky microscope is still hanging about like a random thing...) There's bits I like here, but I also think you've got a level of complexity in here that is going to be very difficult to get on screen satisfyingly in the two minute run time.
So - the chunks that convince are - the idea of the toys making it over the wall into the 'real world'. I like too the idea of the 'toy-maker' being the doctor who is fixing injuries caused by (I presume) a 'real world' dog. In truth, I wonder if this is 'enough' of an idea...
ACT 1: We're introduced - bang! - into an emergency ward type scene with teddies and rabbits and soldiers all in a terrible state - it's like some act of terrorism has taken place. The doctor has never seen wounds like it - he looks down his microscope and realises that the injuries have been caused by teeth. Some terrible monster is attacking the population!
ACT 2: The doctor/toy-maker vows to find the answer to the terrible outbreak of injuries - so flies from the airport and goes over the wall where upon he encounters a terrible monster and does battle with it...
ACT 3: We see the doctor lose his battle with the terrible monster on the other side of the wall; he tries to get back to his plane, but the creature attacks it, and then - gulp! - the toy-mender is gobbled up... the camera than switches to a different view and we see the tiniest cutest puppy chewing on the 'action man' (or whatever the toymaker was in the toy land dimension) and so we have a nice, funny twist that reframes the action we've just been watching...
The important thing about your story is that you treat the 'toy land' scenes with complete seriousness - as if these are real people/animals - their pain is real, the trauma is real, it's all a bit 'action movie' and high-octane ... so the final reveal can work satisfyingly...
Like I said, I think the idea of the toy-mender/maker encountering a rash of new victims suffering from an unknown and terrifying enemy - investigating it, working out that they're being attacked by something enormous with teeth - going on a mission to stop it - all super heroic and serious - only for the ending of the film to show us that the terrible monster is in fact something rather adorable... I think it makes sense that it would be a puppy (i.e. a new addition to the household) because that would explain why the outbreak of attacks has just started and represents something new... I don't think you're going to be able to get the life-force stuff on screen in time and in such a way as to give you a satisfying 2 min structure... what do you think?